it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
