he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
there was a trapeze. enough said
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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