Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
