hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
