do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
