You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
