shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
