Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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