Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
