Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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