a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
