i permit you to call me
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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