i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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