he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
