Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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