You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
