K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
