What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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