It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
