Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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