i barfeds in our rink
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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