I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
