dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Barsexuality is the new black.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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