We won't sleep together?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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