What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you never un-have a 4some
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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