She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
