I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize