they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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