What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
