i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
