We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
