the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
