my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
honey bunches of taint.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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