try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
