i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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