Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
