So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
