i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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