i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
