is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
