Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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