is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
