Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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