a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
where does the pee come out of this thing
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
