I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
