sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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