so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
ttyl tear gas
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
