My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
