4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
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I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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