Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
