is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
