Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
