We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
false alarm, still single
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