I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
