I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize