Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
