You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
