It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
