Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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