you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
