who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How naked do you want me to be?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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