C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
